momtuition

Indecent Exposure

Posted on: December 12, 2010

Before leaving the house I make sure I ask Kuba if he needs to use the bathroom. Sometimes he protests but once I’m sure he’s had something to drink between getting dressed and when we’re getting ready to leave the house… He’s going.

So… We went to Long Bay the other day and on the way back (in Glanvilles) Kuba announced he wanted to pee. Yeah, he “announces” – I’ll talk more about that later. Anyway, I said…

Me: Can you hold it?

Kuba: Yes

Me: Ok, we’ll be home soon… Ok honey

Kuba: Yes

We’re now just entering Pares…

Kuba: I want pee please

Me: I know honey, but just hold it ok

Kuba: Yes

About a minute pass…

Kuba: PEE PLEASE!

Me: Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Can you hold it?

Kuba: NO! PEE PLEASE!

Me: Ok, ok, ok. One minute – Mommy pulling off the road ok

Kuba’s shrieking in the back seat. I pull off the road and he flies (it was that fast) out.

So he’s shooting off for over a minute I’m sure.

Then he gets back in the car and says…

“Whew, that was close!”

I laugh…

Remember I said he announced that he wanted to pee? This is because that’s exactly what he does. So if we were in church let’s say; the entire church (or at least a few pews :)) would hear him. You see; social interaction is still a challenge for him.

Autism is such a complex disorder and virtually no two children will exhibit the same exact symptoms. However, they all share similar symptoms to varying degrees. One very common one you will come across is social impairment/deficits. To sum this up… He lacks the intuition that the “typical”… I use the word “typical” and not “normal” – Everybody’s “normal” is different. And I digress… Anyway, as I was saying he lacks the intuition that the typical person takes forgranted – And it’s extremely difficult to teach because it’s so abstract.

We’ve come along way though. Before he could communicate that he wanted to pee he would just take his penis out anywhere – At the supermarket, in the store, on the street. No concern about his whereabouts and onlookers (who would give me the evil-eye). When he was ready to go he was ready to go – And he would walk to the bathroom with his penis out (if it was up to him) no matter how far it was.

The typical child (above 4or 5 yrs. old) would be a lot more socially conscious/aware. With Kuba; he lacks (getting better) the ability to comprehend why people (who are not ware) would get turned off from him if he…

Talks in their face
Rubs his hands up against theirs if it’s smooth or cold
And recently… Farts, and then announces… “That’s a fart!” It’s hard to keep a straight face with this one 🙂 I must add though that he does say “excuse me” but he thinks nothing at all of the whole thing – And believe me this has stopped a few people in their tracks. At first, most people don’t know what to say. Sometimes I don’t know what’s funnier. The look on their faces or the fart and his announcement 🙂 Boy, their won’t be a shortage of stories to tell when him and I (or the grandkids)get to talking.

He’s come a long way with therapy. But I quite like the steps he’s taken to modernize the “fart”… Or should I say give it a little exposure 🙂

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5 Responses to "Indecent Exposure"

Thank you , Salma

Salma this make me take a second look at what is “Normal” for real! I guess I would agree with Errand we care a lot about what people think about us hence our actions or inactions! Theraputic this blog definitely for all reader and you Salma keep it up!

The lesson I learned from this is that whereas we r socialized to behave a certain way (typical behaviour) we have also learned fear. It is not innate for us to be overly concerned with what others think or believe or even say. Some of us have taken this to the extreme where we let this hinder us even imprision us. Next time I get the feeling of suppression that comes from “what will peop think” I am going to remember this 🙂 fart and expose. Not that I am going to do it literally (fart) but for that moment I will be unconcerned about onlookers as I make whatever choice or engage in whatever activity. Kiss Kuba for me!

I can remember when I was younger I used to do the same thing and no one thought it was funny nor polite then either. I quite frankly prefer it that way. Great job Kuba.
Salma you have always been a person I wish I could be more like and with this blog I know why. You are such a strong woman with a great love for life and optimisim. Keep writing and I keep learning how to be a better more tolerant me.

I’m not sure if Kuba doesn’t have it right, instead of everyone in the room trying to guess who did it, just make the announcement. lol. I know for sure that would crack me up to watch peoples reaction. You have a great way of dealing with Kuba by finding so much of it amusing ( stress reliever) and going with the flow. Grandma talked about him all the time, I wish I could get to know him more. Love you sis.

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