momtuition

Ungrateful Bastard

Posted on: January 8, 2011

Now… I’ve said that about a few for the year but no, I’m not talking about them.

The end of the year has not been a very pleasant one and neither the beginning. I think I’ve struggled through the first few months of every year for the past 3 years – I lost one of my dearest friends (a BFF the kids say these days). It was sudden – 2 Weeks and she’s dead. I think I’m only now beginning to accept it – I mean it rocked me to my core. She passed away 2 days before my birthday in 2008. That’s the last memory I have of my birthday. How sad… Really sad…

So there I was, the last week of the year… Trying to climb out of this funk – Got sick – Was attacked by Super Idiot and The Joker – Found out I had an alter ego (a real bad ass)… The joy… SIDE NOTE: I must have a talk with Batman. I thought we had agreed at the last Super People Convention that he would ask the Joker to stay in Gotham. Now, Super Idiot was previously an unnamed super hero and was waiting for his big break (his own blockbuster starring role). Apparently that wasn’t coming quick enough so he went rogue saying there is more money in that. We have Lex Luther to thank for that. Super Idiot has been hanging out with him in Metropolis of late. Just in case you’re wondering… I’m Super Mom, the new prototype with alter egos 🙂 Ok. That’s enough about the Super World that I’m sure you’re wondering why I know so much about.

Anyway… Back to me. Yes, I’ve just been in a crappy selfish funk. I miss my friend so badly. My granddad passed away on the first day of the year. There are some changes set to take place at Kuba’s school that has me anxious. Work is work and it’s plentiful. You know, I keep having a recurring dream that my alter ego comes out in a meeting at the office and sometimes at school. I’m not sure which would be worse.
I was talking to a friend recently and she was saying to me that at the dinner table at her house everyone has to give thanks for something. They started doing that because she wanted to show her boys (she has 3 sons) that in-spite of everything you need to be grateful for what you have. How sweet… Honorable… Just a good thing to encourage. And here I am engulfed in my own crap and my dinner table time is spent trying to figure out how to sneak pork into my son’s meal without anyone knowing… The envy of all other quality time.

So it got me thinking that there are so many things which I’m grateful for.

I’m thankful for…

Loved ones (friends and family)and everyone in between – Yes… Even Super Idiot

The progress that Kuba has made over the years. My mom (who is yet to be called by name in this blog – She thinks I should be getting paid to talk about “my business”. I know exactly what you’re thinking… It must be a conspiracy between her and Charlton with this “business” thing. Yeah… I know what you’re thinking now too. How could she do this to me?! This is not how it goes in the movies… The mom and the man should have friction – He’s supposed to be yinging and she yanging – This makes no sense at all… Moving right along…

Back to being thankful for Kuba’s progress… The other day my mom asked Kuba if he wanted some turkey and he said, “Absolutely not!” We were so proud of him. The other day we were playing around and after a while he wanted to move on to doing something else – But you know us moms we overreact when it comes to the not-enough quality time we think we’re spending with our kids even when it’s the kid that has had enough – So instead of giving him his space I continued to try and coax him into continue playing. He told me to “Beat it!” His exact words. I have to admit that in the moment, I wasn’t proud – And not that I’m exactly proud now either. Let’s just say that Kuba almost found out what time it is. Just imagine my kid telling me to “beat it”. Once I got over the shock and the hurt (yes, he hurt my feelings) I was pleased that he used the phrase in the right context. His vocabulary is expanding. Plus… I’m just now thinking that this could come in handy if he’s ever bullied at school or something. So there you go… Progress.

Charlton… He understands me – At least I think he does most of the time. I’m sure you’re thinking, “What about love?” Yeah… There’s love too but my man “gets” me and that’s a biggie.

The work I do. It touches many lives and I love doing it – At least most days

My mom. She’s a big part of my support system. Plus a man pissed her off the other day and she said she felt like body-slamming him and punching him in his gut. How can I not be thankful for an unpaid bodyguard – Big Mama Jamma 🙂

I’m thankful that I got to spend everyday of the last 2 weeks of my friend’s life with her. I would sit in my car in between visiting hours at the hospital – Sometimes the nurses would feel sorry for me and let me in – And she did tell me that she’s ok and she’s not scared but at that point I was freaking out and couldn’t comprehend (still not sure if I do) it. I’m thankful that on the last day of her life her sister and I were at her bedside and we were all laughing about some scenes from a Tyler Perry movie… Imagine that!

I’m thankful that my friend Wendy and I still go to the grave-side (don’t ask why but we just have to) every year and just sit and reminisce, laugh, pray, cry.

I’m thankful that I had the guts to start this blog otherwise I would be making a shrink somewhere rich – And everyone knows the world does not need another rich shrink. We can watch reruns of Frasier for advice.

And most of all I’m thankful that I can still dream of the self-cleaning Jetson house that I will own in 2020.

P.S. This was actually supposed to be my end of the year post but I was sick and high on meds and everyone knows you don’t blog when your high on meds. I would have surely leaked out some “business”

R.I.P Tamara King-Friday

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9 Responses to "Ungrateful Bastard"

The BEST one i’ve read yet.

Amalia, this is not the forum to express your love to me. This is all about Kuba………. lol

I simply love this blog, my eyes watered while I was reading, I laughed and I smiled. You made me go to the bathroom since I’m at work. I love it that you are counting your blessings..this makes any and all obstacles appears as pebbles…and trust me no pebble ever throw us down, by the time you kick them out your way you will realize you have reached the top of your mountain. Keep giving thanks cause you are soo blessed, and your blogging may be theraputic for you but it’s also a blessing to many who read it.

Love you girl….Love you to anuprincess..less u feel left out :-p

Koren, stop lying!!!!!!!!!!

Koren is not lying..u always a lie 🙂 I tell u if you continue you head will get bigger so stop it a lie is an abomination now tell Salma how much you love her…and me while your at it.

lol…I don’t lie in January….too early in the year!

I just want to give you a hug…. Living away sucks!!!!!!

I’m sorry for the pain caused by the loss of your dear friend. I think that all the experiences you have gone through – good, bad and in-between all combine to make you into that special person you are that we love soooooo much!!! You have a heart!

This was an absolutely lovely post. Thanks for sharing! It was brave of you to start blogging, and quite therapeutic, I’m sure. (I’m thankful that I had the guts to start this blog otherwise I would be making a shrink somewhere rich…). I’m confident that your words would not only serve as a release for you, but also inspire others, as this post has inspired me. It was instructive how you were able to see your son’s “beat it” from a different point of view after the initial shock of what we would initially judge as “rude” behavior. This just re-enforces the fact that in every experience, positive exists. It’s just up to us to find it, but we seldom do.

Peace

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