Mom… My ear

Posted on: March 14, 2011

That’s Kuba to me – Very nonchalantly.

On today of all days. I was more looking forward to hearing (or saying… Either way works for me:))… Honey… Right there.

I looked in his ear and I could see something in it. What it was (at that time) I didn’t know. I start panicking – This means holding of breath, wondering if I should take him to the pediatrician or to the hospital – And where the hell is my fairy godmother in all of this to come and blink us away from this scene. On further examination of his ear whatever was in it was looking like cotton (or something soft).

So we get in the car… We’re leaving school. I call his pediatrician – No answer. Call again – No answer. SIDE NOTE: I’m sure you’re thinking… Why not take him to the ER? My answer: It’s the end of the day (I pick him up at 3:45PM) so his pediatrician’s office would likely be empty or have very few people waiting. Plus we’ve been seeing her for a few years now so she (and her staff) knows him… That’s like half the battle we’ve already won. But it didn’t matter at that point because no one was answering the FRICKING PHONE! Yes… I was pissed! A phone call to a friend reminded me that the doc’s office is usually closed on a Wednesday.

So I keep driving… Off to the hospital.

So I park and I inhale… We’re in the ER. Kuba is still himself really… Not feeling any pain so I’m not completely losing my mind yet. We’re now waiting in the doc’s office for her to come see him. The office decor is very simple. I’m happy. Too much stuff going – too much stuff on the walls etc. can cause Kuba to become over-stimulated (you may also see this being referred to as sensory overload). The lights, the noises, too many people walking around. I’ll explain over-stimulation this way: You know that screeching sound you hear if someone drags their nails against a chalkboard? Imagine having to listen to that while sitting on a three-legged chair while taking notes. What would you do? You would probably start yelling for someone to stop the noise or get angry, cry etc. This is exactly what happens to Kuba when he has sensory overload. He makes loud noises, he gets angry. He doesn’t really cry much these days but a few years ago… Just walking into the supermarket would send him screaming at the top of his lungs. We’re a lot better now with handling the meltdowns, although you’re still sometimes surprised. Like last Saturday we went to the supermarket and there were quite a lot of folks in there… It’s a Saturday so I’m expecting to see a lot of people but it was just unusually crowded that day – And Kuba went “off”… Screaming, yelling, shouting (Wait, are all those 3 are pretty much the same thing?), running around. No doubt drawing some attention… A lot of it. There was this mom in particular who was watching (not a good watch) us all the time. So we get to the dairy section, and while my back was turned she said to Kuba…

Supermarket Mom: Hey, tap mek all dem noise dey de place

Me: Excuse me! Don’t talk to my son like that

Mom (with her back turned to me): Well tell he fu tap mek dem noise in de place

I hold Kuba’s hand and we walk away. We walk away from the “idiot of the day”. She was such an ass for speaking to my kid that way – And doing so while my back was turned obviously thinking I wouldn’t hear.

Ok… Just went off on a tangent there. Forgot there was a “foreign body” (hospital speak – LOL) stuck in Kuba’s ear and we’re in the ER doc’s office waiting for her to come in – And in she walks and immediately starts talking to Kuba… I like :). So she’s asking him his name and he’s totally ignoring her. He’s more interested in her stethoscope. So I said to her… You may not get a response a response from him – He’s autistic and sometimes he just tunes people out. She says… Yes, I know. I’m thinking… When did I say to her? I don’t remember saying that to her – But I like :). Moving along… She says to me… Do you think he’s going to allow me to try to take it out of his ear? Let’s try.

Two seconds later…

I’m now trying to restrain him – He’s screaming at the top of his lungs. I feel awful… We’re both scared. OK… This is not working. Kuba is strong. So the doc asks for support from a male nurse…

About three minutes but what felt like thirty minutes later…

The doc says… This is not working. What’s in his ear is not soft like we thought. I felt it and I was hard, almost like a seed. He may need to get something to relax so we can get that thing out of his ear. I don’t want to take any more chances and cause any damage. I’m going to call in someone from ENT. I’m thinking… Why is this happening? They say anesthesia I think complications/side-effects. We go sit outside the doc’s office to wait for the ENT doc. Kuba is no longer crying – He was only crying because he’s scared, not from any pain. My mind is reeling. I call his dad – Mommy needs some support.

Me: Hi, I’m in the Emergency Room with Kuba. Something is in his ear

Charlton: What? What do you mean something is in his ear? How did that happen? What’s in his ear?

Me: I don’t know… I don’t know what’s in it. He just told me that something was in his ear and I can see something but I don’t know what it is. One of the doc’s tried to take it out and she couldn’t – But she said it’s something hard like a seed

Charlton: A seed? I’m coming

Me: They’re talking about anesthesia now because he won’t sit still long enough to take it out

Charlton: Is he in pain? Is he crying?

Me: Only when they try to take it out. He’s scared. Other than that he’s seems ok.

Charlton: I’m coming now. Don’t worry

Me: Ok (thinking what should I do instead)

Charlton: I love you

Me: Love you too

SIDE NOTE: The “I love you” bit is pretty much every phone call, when we go our separate ways in the morning, if we see each other in traffic he calls or we text. Sometimes I think it’s a bit juvenile but it’s exciting though and I love it :). I’ve heard some people say it gets “old” for them after a time but for us it hasn’t – Even after all these years. Plus we were coming off a bender. Not the drugs and alcohol type but the arguing type. So tonight was supposed to be… Suki Suki 🙂 LMAO

Anyway, so we wait for the ENT doc and daddy (Charlton) to come.

Daddy comes first. I hear him asking for me at the nurse’s station. I had finally gotten Kuba to sit quietly in the chair. He was beginning to get restless with nothing to do. He (Charlton) turns the corner… You need to hold your breath from here until I say exhale :). He walks straight towards me, puts one arm around my waist and gives me a BIG SMUSH. In case you’re wondering what the hell is a smush? I really don’t know… I just made it up – But I think it’s like a full-on “man-and-woman” lip kiss that was supposed to involve tongues but the wires got crossed and your lips just “smushed” against each other in a zigzag slightly open (would totally ruin any lipstick job) way. You can exhale now… It wasn’t as epic as you thought… I know. But that was so odd for him – And the situation… Men can just do the weirdest shit sometimes.

Anyway we’re waiting… Kuba is asking to go home and for all sorts of food… He’s bouncing off the walls. We’re beginning to attract even more attention from a couple at the other end of the hall. I wonder if they’re talking about the epic kiss or maybe they were curious about Kuba?

The doctor is here!

We follow him into the office. He sits in his chair and immediately starts talking to/playing with Kuba. I like! This doc is even more engaging. He’s explaining everything that he’s going to do to Kuba (and I guess to us in a sense) – But he’s really breaking everything down to “kid-level”… I really like! He’s letting Kuba play with all the stuff showing him how they work. I wish I could say that this had any effect on what took place next but…

The other doc must have told this one that he’ll be treating “Baby Goliath” because he sent for help (ER Tech) before we got started.

This is the situation…

Kuba was wrapped in a sheet. Charlton sat on the examination table with Kuba in his lap his hands around him and his legs overlapping Kuba’s own. The ER Tech is standing behind Charlton holding (or at least trying to) Kuba’s head still. At this point I’m standing in front of Kuba and Charlton. Everything is either wrapped up or being pinned down – And I’m having a hard time watching Kuba like this – Added to that he’s screaming at dog-level pitch. First, second, third, fourth, fifth try… Still not out. This Popeye kid does not eat any spinach but he’s strong like a lion. We all have a “sweat brow” and “stash”.

The doc stop and says…

Doc: We may have to sedate him

Me: The other doc had mentioned this but we were hoping that we wouldn’t have to do that

Doc: If he wasn’t putting up this much of a struggle but… You don’t want to cause any damage. Right now it doesn’t appear as if there’s any damage and I want to keep it that way but we need to get it out

I know Charlton is shitting bullets right (he would laugh at me if I tell him this) at this point but he’s not saying much, just listening. We then went on to have a bit of a discussion about the type of drug that will be given and possible side-effects. We’re all now going out the door when Charlton stops and says…

Let’s try again. I want us to try again before we do anything else.

So… We assume the position (no, not that one – Although I was looking forward to it all day :))

Yeah… It was just like what I said before. Only this time I’m now leaning down on Kuba, putting my full body weight on him. First try… Nothing. Second try… Nothing. By this time the doc is on the examination bed on his knees. The doc stops and sends the tech for another instrument.

We start again…

This time the doc’s position is on the bed on his knees. Then he says… I think I have – Hold him steady… Hold him… Hold him. OK. I got it!

And it’s out! And it really is a seed. It’s a seed from a shack-shack. Charlton asks for it – Looks at it – I believe he thought about keeping it but then he threw it in the garbage.

Kuba’s still crying. My eyes welled-up. Charlton’s hugging us… We’re exhausted. All man a sweat… LOL (to laugh now feels good). We thank the doc and the tech any times.

We leave after some advice from the doc. As soon as we come out the door… All eyes are on us. It’s like everyone was waiting to see what condition we were going to come out of that room in – And I guess because they saw Kuba playing as if nothing was wrong with him that no one was expecting those screams.

We leave the ER. Charlton is lifting Kuba – He puts Kuba in my car, says “everytime to him” – Kuba says “everytime” back between sobs. It’s this thing that they have between them that I’m so happy to hear now 🙂 – He gives me a kiss and says that he’ll follow me in his car. I told him to stop by the supermarket and get some milk.

Looks like that was going to be the only thing he was getting that night… Or was it? You know by now that I can’t say… Right? Because that would be “business” and I can only talk about our life and not our “business” – And on what was supposed to be “make-up night”… If I say anything we would be talking strictly “business” 🙂


6 Responses to "Mom… My ear"

Because you write so well, I felt as if I was there, witnessing everything. Give thanks for a blessed ending! Oh! and the little “business” you shared was inspiring.

I am just really happy that Kuba is fine and no damage took place, must have been real scary for him.

Omg that sounds nerve-wrecking just reading it. Thank God Kuba is ok . You and Charlton are so romantic after some 20 years 🙂 . If walls could talk we would know what happened that eve.

I love You Never ever gets old. EVER! As I know a lil bit more about this story, I will refrain from commenting on your business..LOL

I know it’s already over but my heart was still racing while I was readingthe story. I’m no good in these situations, I would be a nervous wreck. I’m glad to hear that everything worked out ok. And no the “I love you” never gets old.

I was feeling for little Kuba as if I was there! Glad it worked out fine. I guess the ENT was Doc Roberts; he goes out of his way to put ppl at ease, love him. You got me “titivated”with your “smushing” and even though you didn’t go into your “business” I have a lively imagination and think I know how the night ended. Your loving and caring for Kuba reminds me of my niece Carolyn and her 16 yr old son Fidel who’s autistic; they live in the US, but whenever they visit, time spent with them is an eye opener and great learning experience about autism. God bless yáll; much love.

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