Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Human in Disguise
Posted on: December 3, 2015
As we celebrate today, International Day of Persons with Disabilities t
here are some things (not an exhaustive list by any means) that I would like some folks to keep in mind.
“Light It Up Blue” is a global campaign that sees thousands of iconic landmarks, cities and towns around the world turn blue on April 2 to recognize World Autism Awareness Day. The campaign highlights the pressing need for greater public education and awareness of autism in our community.
I’m proud to have initiated Antigua’s participation in this campaign for the first time – BUT – I need your help to make it a success and for us to send a strong message to everyone that the Antiguan community is united in our efforts in supporting and celebrating people with autism and increasing awareness about this disorder.
Need some inspiration? Here are a few ways you can ‘Light It Up Blue” on April 2!
- Get your school involved: Host a “Blue Day” fundraiser at your school. Blue cake stalls, wear something blue, blue face painting, blue art day – The ideas are endless!
- Get your workplace involved: Ask clients and colleagues to take part in a “Wear Blue” fundraiser for World Autism Awareness Day. Get creative and have some fun!
- Promote this “Light It Up Blue” campaign via your social media! Share stories (news or personal ones).
- Light up your Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, BBM profile: Change your profile photo to the “Light It Up Blue” logo or any other Autism Awareness graphic – Check out Google Images, there are tons!
- Take lots of photos of any awareness activities/events you host: Share photos on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. Would so love if you could tag me (@sackr) in them! You can also email your photos to salma.crump@gmail.com.
- Purchase autism awareness merchandise and wear/use it proudly! A great range of products available online.
- Contact your MP or anyone running for office and tell them all about World Autism Awareness Day/Month and why it’s so important to you!
See… It’s so easy to get involved.
It’s not only awareness that is being raised when our FB profiles are lit up. We are also helping build understanding of what it means to be affected by autism and building compassion for those with autism and their loved ones.
On Wednesday, April 2, 2014 (and throughout the month) together – we can unite the world in their honor and for their benefit.
NOTE: Any funds you raise can go towards an organization of your choice that supports the advancement of kids/adults with autism or help start a program in your neighborhood school, a more inclusive kiddies program in your church… It’s totally up to you!
The Inconvenient Child
Posted on: February 10, 2014
My open letter to the Hon. Minister of Education, Dr. Jacqui Quinn-Leandro…
I’m saddened and distressed by the state of affairs with regards to special education in this country.
We hear “It’s a priority” so often and still nothing gets done so I’ve now become numb to the promises made. I guess one thing can be said – There’s been some consistency where this issue is concerned and that is, nothing gets done. How tragic.
This year I made a special effort to listen to the Hon. Minister of Education, Jacqui Quinn-Lenadro’s speech regarding the recent budget. At one point, the Minister expressed how painful it was for her to see an unfinished structure at the Antigua State College campus for such an extended period. Painful! It pains her to see an unfinished building – that I may add – she’s right, it should be finished – BUT – perhaps I missed this, but I’ve never heard the Minister sounding this pained when she talks about special need children and how they continue to be shortchanged by the education system. Children! Not blocks! People! Or is it just the parents who should feel this pain? Newsflash! We’re feeling it! Newsflash! We can’t take it anymore!
So, since we’re on the subject of pain. Here’s what pains me…
The way the authorities run to their back-up responses of arts and crafts, vocational when the subject of special education comes up. Arts and crafts/vocational, though good is not the be-all and end-all of our children. Are we as parents to assume that that’s what it means to you – And – that is the breadth of the experience they will have in the system?
I am saddened that you and too many others continue to apologize and make excuses for the lack of any real, and thoughtful plans to address the needs of these students – actions that continue to be disastrous for so many. Quit holding out the “Coming Soon” carrot stick! We’re not rabbits! After all, at what point should we get fed-up of hearing “We’re working on something” or “We’re looking at it”. So you’re looking at it, we’re looking for it and our children get absolutely nothing from it. Just great! Words don’t help our children. Good programs/policies that are enforced do.
Here is your record…
You started out by saying the Ministry of Education will be making special education a priority. Every time I think of this I remember a quote from Mahatma Gandhi which says; “Actions expresses priorities”. My interpretation of this is that people take action on the things they deem important. I guess in a sense the Ministry’s inaction has pushed me to keep fighting for my child’s (and others like him) educational rights. So I’m going to keep demanding, over and over and over again for better more meaningful change. “We don’t have enough money” is no longer acceptable or defensible for bad education policies and programs.
You then said that you will be setting up a diagnostic center: We’re still waiting for this to even start. By the way, should we be concerned by the track record of the new public library? In a Daily Observer article on November 19th, 2011 the Minister stated: “Our fine team at the Board of Education has just completed an estimate of the cost of converting the building (referring to a building on Nugent Ave.) into a functional child-friendly centre, and we have included this expenditure into the 2012 budget,” – What happened Minister? Ok… You missed the ball in 2012 and again in 2013 – But… Believe me folks it will happen in 2014! Give me a minute please because I’m gagging on this giant-sized pill I’m being fed now. I’ve said this before – But – year after year we hear of an education budget but it’s difficult to say whether there is any correlation between the amount spent on the education system and its ability to be effective in responding to diversity. So you don’t have enough? Let us see what you’re doing with what you have. It’s your responsibility to tell us.
A Special Education Council was put in place… Good move: An advisory council could potentially assist the Ministry with drafting policies/programs/plans/reviewing budgets and giving guidance (relating to special education) on how to put those plans into action. Where I think you went wrong: Instead of looking as far as the eye can see with regards to assembling a diverse group to sit on this council – You, looked outside your office door. That‘s the only conclusion I could arrive at to explain why you would elect a senior executive within the Ministry as the Chair of this council – Added to that the other members (with the exception of one) are all Ministry execs.
By all means, this is not an attack on the competencies of the individuals who sit on the council but they are Ministry staffers and are conflicted, therefore, in providing independent advice to you. The council is unlikely to recommend actions deemed unfavorable by you or criticize any decisions that have been made by the Ministry. Therefore you and your team cannot receive the objective advice needed in order to make intelligent decisions. This clearly demonstrates a lack of understanding of the processes of thoughtful planning which the provision of special education services require.
More teachers have been trained in Special Education: This is absolutely great! But Minister, please explain why this benefit hasn’t trickled down to the point of making more of a difference for our children who are in the classrooms now. How do these new specialist teachers entering the system fit into the overall plan? What is the big picture? Is there a big picture?
The ratification of the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities: The new political ping-pong – Politicians climbing over each other to see who can be the most politically correct and use the most buzz-words. To that I say; “How convenient.” We don’t address it for years then all of a sudden it shows up in a budget speech. Did we just find the conscience we lost? When Antigua signed on to this convention in 2007, put in place by the United Nations, were we doing it for the betterment of our citizens or was it just for show?
The Ministry has managed to do very little because many parents/advocates either can’t, won’t or don’t know how to challenge them. I have to be honest though, sometimes I feel like I’m being ignored to the point of exhaustion (didn’t know this was possible) within a system that is so inherently flawed that the authorities think nothing about being satisfied with the status quo. It’s embarrassing, the awful reputation our public schools have when it comes to special education. How can we change that?
These children may have a disability and they may need accommodations to access the educational curriculum but they are worthy of the same high expectations that is placed on our typical children. So hopefully you agree that we must have high expectations of education authorities. After all it’s the high expectations that we have today which will prepare them for a life of independence in the future. I refuse to raise a child for a life of dependence on social programs and dollars! Or worse! I very much doubt you, or any other Member of Parliament, would be happy with that situation for your own children, yet so many in government are complicit by their silence on the issue. I’m not wishing for any MP to have to raise a child with special needs but perhaps you would all feel somewhat differently about the matter if you had to.
Here we are, celebrating Education Week under the theme “Every Learner Achieves: A Call for Greater Commitment” but from where I sit it does not appear as if we truly believe in that theme. That every learner can achieve – And when the authorities call for greater commitment. Who is this call going out to? Commitment is not a one-way street. Education officials are always quick to tout the importance of the involvement of parents as stakeholders in the education of their child but when parents do get involved it appears as if your involvement is only wanted on their terms. So we’re “good” once we’re singing from the same hymn-sheet but once I challenge you… Now, I know there are some who have no tolerance for this sort of emotional honesty in communication – But I refuse to give unthinking respect to anyone/group/thing. It’s not happening!
So, no more phony consultations to provide window-dressing for progress. We don’t want that! We want real dialogue that asks all partners to help define the barriers and consider how they can contribute to solving them. I’m ready to do whatever it takes. What about you?
Stop! Don’t Shoot!
Posted on: November 26, 2013
- In: driving | feeling | Say What! | Uncategorized
- 2 Comments
For the past week Kuba has been pretending to arrest me. He’ll walk up behind me and say; “Turn around. Put your hands behind your back. You’re under arrest woman!” Then he would proceed to put on the handcuffs – And as he’s “pretend hand-cuffing me) he’s saying to me; “What are you going to do now… Huh?” Almost every night we go through this. Fast forward to just the other day…
And so it goes (as told by his dad).
Charlton and Kuba are on their way into the city. They get stopped by cops during a random police check-point. Charlton gets out; Kuba stays behind in the car. He’s driving my car and the tint is DARK for days! SIDE NOTE: In case you’re wondering how I get away with such dark tint. Your guess is as good as mine. I went from one day not having any tint – drove like that for over a year – to next day Charlton saying that my seats are going to get sun-damage and I need to put on some tint. I went from sunlight to blackout in one fell swoop.
Anyway, Charlton is outside talking to the cop. I guess answering the usual questions. Then one of them noticed some movement in the car and asked if there was someone still in there. He told them yes, his son was. So the officer says:
Officer: Ask your son the exit the car
Charlton (opening car door): Kuba, come out of the car
Now; take a guess at what “star-boy” aka Kuba did…
Nope. Not that.
Kuba exited the car with his two hands up in the air.
All professionalism went out the door after that because everyone was laughing out so loud.
Now tell me…
SIDE NOTE: Perhaps we watched too much of the Trayvon Martin coverage. We haven’t even had “the talk” with him.
Jungle Fever
Posted on: April 2, 2013
In the movie The Lion King, Simba goes back to fight Scar for his rightful place in the Pride Lands. It’s one of Kuba’s favorite movies – And if it’s only one thing that he learns from that movie… My hope is that it’s the lesson of courage.
Courage to do what’s right and to stand-up for himself and others.
It’s also something that I hope time will tell that we did a good job in shaping in him. And I think a lot of it will come from us modeling that behavior ourselves.
Before autism, and everything that comes along with it, came into my life I didn’t consider myself to be a courageous person. I really didn’t. Actually, I’m not sure if I now do. Add to that, my private life back then was just that… Private!
Then I became mom to an autist and things changed. I realized very quickly that I had two choices; I could do nothing or I could do something. I chose to do something. Anything! Anything that I thought would help him overcome any challenges he had. I never saw it as a courageous act. I didn’t think I was doing no more than any parent of a “typical” kid would do for them. I was speaking out, I was advocating, I was demanding more for my son and for others like him. From time to time I get parents who would say to me; “I read your blog and I think you’re so brave for speaking out and advocating for your son. Where do you get the courage from?”
I say to them; because I owe it to him.
I remember when Kuba was initially diagnosed, we met with a psychiatrist and he asked what did we want for Kuba – And his dad responded and said that we wanted him to be the best he could be, whatever his best was. I couldn’t have said it better because nothing – ABSOLUTELY NOTHING – in this world is more important to me than knowing that Kuba will be ok on his own when we’re no longer around. It is what keeps us up at night – It’s this fear that drives me. The fear that sometimes fills my mind with thoughts of perpetual unemployment, homelessness, drug-addiction and prison – And I was going to do everything in my power to give my child a shot at a better future than that. After all isn’t that the dream of every parent, to have an independent, happy, adult child who’s capable of living on their own. My dreams are no different for my child with autism. But the attitude here is that they will continue to live with us (parents) until one of us dies. After that it’s “Good Luck Chuck”.
To date no government agency has been able to tell us how education will be provided to our kids once they enter the school system much less what happens to them once they reach adulthood. What we know now is purely anecdotal; and the picture is bleak. There’s very little opportunity for them to fully explore their full learning potential or career capabilities. And just for the record… For those of you who, sometimes with the best of intentions, when autism is mentioned, go to your only source of reference and that is the character, Raymond Babbitt, played by Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rain Man and offer a compliment alluding to the myth that we have nothing to worry about because our kids are smart… Thanks but no thanks. What I want you to do; before you think our situation is not so bad and that we all have little Einsteins and Mozarts who will have us rolling in a pile-of-dough soon enough and then we can do whatever we want. Think again. This is a spectrum of disorders all different to varying degrees… No two are the same and no two have the same differences.
In the process of writing this article I decided to do a bit of research to see what other people had to say about courage. How did they define it? I came across a site that described it this way: Courage: the emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals in the face of opposition, internal or external.
I like the fact that they highlight that the opposition could be either internal or external. There’s still many of us who have not accepted that our ideas of perfection have not been realized in our child. “If only she would just…” or “Why can’t he just…” When you really stop to think about this, and I hope you do. Ask yourself if you have fulfilled all the expectations your parents had for you – And not that this is right or wrong either. It’s just that sometimes; our expectations are just that; our expectations.
You see, I think that Simba was courageous all along. He just didn’t know it. He initially told Nala when she found him; “They don’t need me!” But when she told him about what his uncle Scar had done to the pride lands, he had to go back to save his people. In his eyes that was the only choice for him. I call this “courage that knows” – Knows the risks that lies ahead but still takes action anyway because the consequences of taking no action or lesser action are unacceptable.
I sometimes end up having very intimate conversation with some moms and dads who I’m meeting for the first time and I’m sure it took quite some courage for them to talk to me about certain issues. Perhaps I would have never found my courage if it hadn’t been for son. Perhaps I would have kept on thinking that courage is something only the people who risk their lives have.
So, I still don’t quite see myself as being courageous – But there is something there, whatever it is, that makes me get out of bed each day, no matter how much I sometimes want to give up and… make another call, send another email, write another letter, reach out to someone who I think can help us move forward. Because like I said; there’s nothing – NOTHING – I will not do for my kid. After all, I owe him at least that.
I have a contagious jungle fever. Some call it courage. Don’t worry though; it’s the one you want to get.
- In: Aging | death | feeling | Say What! | Thinking OUT LOUD | Uncategorized | Underwear
- 8 Comments
I know it’s been a while and everyone has been asking what’s going on with the blog so since we already know each other I’ll skip the formalities.
So… What does it say about a person who still has underwear from 1996. Still in good condition though. This means that I would be kinda ok with the ER situation I spoke about before – You know – Where they cut your clothes off of you. The only thing though is; the panties are kinda sorta… Ahhh… Above my belly button… Annnd… Covers my entire ass… I mean… ENTIRE A-S-S!
Anyway… The hot doc cutting my clothes off – Sees my panties… I don’t want the first thing that comes to their mind to be “What a *Bingo-Bag!” (Translation: Grandma Panties… I think). I mean… Can you imagine?
Plus Charlton loves cheeks… Yes, those ones too. (LOL)
In my defense though, I had just started working back then and could afford to buy my own Vickies (Victoria Secret) – And those were totally the “it” panties then – You know what I’m talking about. So Don’t Even Pretend…
As a matter of fact, I still sometimes wear some of them. They’re still a part of my tier system. Yes; I totally have a tier system. Tier one is for new ones. Tier two is for anything going on 8 months or so to a year but still in pristine condition. And tier three is for the older stuff like my period, non date-night and it’s-so-not-happening-tonight-panties. There’s one rule I have about tier three though – And that is not to leave the house in them. I would just die, if God forbid I got in a traffic accident or something and a police officer or EMT saw me in one of them. I would just die. Mind you if it’s a tier one I’m going to be upset if they cut it off – And I have already discussed this with Charlton and there are certain instances in which he would be ok with another person taking off my panties and this is one of them. Actually, I think he would want it to be a tier one too :). I wonder if this is something you can put in a will. Hmmm… Oh wait, I can’t, because I’ll be dead before the read it. Hmmm…
1, 2, 3… Let me count the ways one man can *rample-up wan bed aff a wan ly-dung. (Translation: mess-up a bed by just lying on it once). I can lie on the bed and just get up and run my hands over the top to smooth it out and you can never tell I was in it. With Charlton… Noooo – The comforter will be hanging off to one side, a pillowcase may be half way off the pillow, he wants like 4 pillows under his head at once. It’s awful. I want to ban him from the bed sometimes but… Think about it… Can’t be so cruel to myself
Ok… I have a confession to make…
Ten years ago while we were in New York I gave Charlton cabbage sautéed in pork fat – He’s a vegetarian. He ate it all and thought it was sooooo good… Like the best cabbage he’s ever had – And I never told him the truth.
Whew! There. I got it out. I feel better now. That shit has been weighing me down for some strange reason lately. I’ll tell him though; eventually. This will be one of my “old-and-grey” conversations
I swear, it wasn’t intentional. It was my dad’s wife who cooked it. She’s from down South and she cooks like Paula Deen – With butter and butter. I took the food back to the apartment. It was meant for ME but he tasted it and ended up eating all of it. I saw him eating it but it wasn’t registering at the time that it was cooked with pork fat. By the time that dawned on me it was too late. I couldn’t stop him then – He was enjoying it too much. I told myself that I would tell him later that night but I guess I forgot and I’m only now remembering. You believe me right?
A conversation that begins with…
Charlton: I’m going to cut off my balls
Never ends well…
Me: (I’m speechless) – I give him my best “Say what!” look
SIDE NOTE: We’re in the kitchen so he comes to the sink where I’m standing and gives me the; “I just told you that I was going to cut my balls out please say something.”
Me: Why would you want to do that?
Charlton: I was listening to something on the news and they were talking about the life expectancy for men verses women. Long story short… I may just live a little longer without my balls.
Me: What about me?
Charlton: What do you mean – What about you? How is this about you?
Me: What about sex?
Charlton: I’m not talking about sex. When did this conversation turn to sex?
SIDE NOTE: Ladies and gentlemen and the few pets who read this blog… He’s kidding right?
Me: Any conversation with balls has to involve sex
Charlton (He’s giving me the evil-eye): Says who Spin Doctor?
SIDE NOTE: In case you’re wondering who’s Spin Doctor. It’s yours truly – Picked up a few other nicknames since my last post. Spin Doctor is one and the other is Hitler. By the way, when I’m called Hitler, I’m given a salute. I know… I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.
Me: What am I spinning? No balls mean no sex. It will affect the men on the battle-field. You know that right?
Charlton: Huh? What men? Oh my! I’m just trying to make a point with you – And you’ve gone down a totally different road
SIDE NOTE: By this time we’re out of the kitchen and in bed. Not like that you perv. We’re just talking – But you can’t say that that’s not some totally awesome irony there.
Me: I’m, not going down a different road. I’m still right by the balls where you are
Charlton: *Me tap tark to you buddy – (Translation: I’m no longer talking to you)
Me: But you agree that this has a lot to do with sex right?
Charlton: (No response)
Me: That’s it?
Charlton: (Turns his back to me)
Me: Ok, that’s how it is?
Charlton: Yes. Stop talking now
To be continued… 🙂
Moving right along…
If your kid has no filter, don’t take them to the bathroom with you.
Kuba and I go to the movies. About a quarter of the way into the movie I begin to feel the urge… I want to pee. I didn’t want to get up because the cinema was packed and I did not want to lose our seats, plus didn’t want to leave Kuba there alone. Anyway, I sat through it. But everyone knows what happens when you hold it for an extended period. Yep. That… The gentle breeze. LOL
I knew there was going to be a rush to the bathrooms after the movie so I waited for that to pass before going in. When we got in there it was empty. I took Kuba with me.
SIDE NOTE: Is Kuba to old now (he’s 10) for me to take into the ladies room with me?
Anyway I’m in the stall doing my business and it’s one of those flows where you’re thinking; “This is Guinness World Records material”. Or is that just me – Am I the only one who thinks like that? By the way, sorry for the visual (whatever you’re getting) that I just gave you.
Anyway, I’m praying to God no one comes in. I know a fart is on the horizon and it’s one of those ones whose full potential should only be released in private. Or in my case, in the company of my kid who is right outside leaning against the door. As soon as I was done I heard the clicking of a stall door – There was an intruder but it was too late to stop the raging bull about to escape my body. Folks, believe me when I tell you that I was doing all I could to stop it – So much for all those kegel exercises. It was failing me big time. It started coming out in short bursts. And that’s where Kuba comes in. I swear to God he must have Superman hearing.
Kuba: Hey… What’s going on in there?
Me: I’m not answering him. Actually I can’t answer him. I can concentrate on nothing else but trying to keep the lid on this monster – And God help us all if I attempt to utter a word.
Kuba (He’s whispering now and speaking in slow motion for some reason): Moooom, arrre yooou ooook?
I’m trying to hold it in but I’m leaking fast like a used tire. Then it was out. LOUD! REALLY LOUD! I think my knees buckled.
I want to die. Just kill me now.
Kuba (laughing and speaking at the top of his voice): Oh My Gosh! Mom, are you ok?
Me (thinking): No one can identify a fart – But – If I speak, whoever is in here might recognize my voice. So I keep quiet and have evil thoughts of my kid – And pray to God no one else smells this – Dead Dog Alert! Damn! It was fierce! OMG! I’m gonna die from involuntarily ingesting my own fart.
Kuba: Mom, did you fart?
Me (evil woman tone – under my breath): Kuba!
Kuba (laughing): Ewww… Yuck! That’s disgusting!
Me (evil woman tone – under my breath): Kuba!
Then I hear what sounds like the beginning of laughter in another stall – Like the person is trying not to laugh but can’t help themselves. Then I guess they couldn’t hold it in anymore – anywhere else I think they would have been rolling on the floor. Kuba joins in on the laughter. Then he says…
Kuba: It’s not funny! It’s inappropriate
SIDE NOTE: I usually tell him this because he loves to laugh after he farts – thinks it the funniest thing. So what he’s saying now is from some scripting we’ve done.
This makes the lady in the other stall laugh even more
I’m beginning to stifle a laugh too but I still wish that my kid would just shut up.
I hear the sink running so I assume that the person is now washing their hands. Their phone rings…
Victim: You’re outside? *Bwoy me ha wan juak fuh ghe you see. Yuh guh ded wid laugh* – (Translation: Boy, I have a joke to share with you. You’re going to die laughing)
The person eventually leaves. Thank God! I’m finally able to make my exit but not before dousing the place with my Victoria Secret body mist.
I finally exit my safety net and the traitor (aka Kuba) comes up to me and says; “Mom, you made it.”
By the way, I would have died laughing too. I think farts are God’s gift of laughter to the world.
So… What else has been going on with us?
Charlton and I have come up with a secret handshake. We’re still trying to figure out in what scenarios we will use it though.
I was addicted the US Presidential elections. Actually I started tuning in since the Republican primaries but got really into it during the summer. Meaning all politics all the time – Every TV in the house – So I did not miss anything. Kuba would lay in my bed some nights and watch Hardball (Chris Matthews) with me. I’m sure he’s quite the pundit now.
I no longer dream of giving up my career and clipping coupons. I now want to be a medium! Looking for some people to practice on though. So if you’re interested hurry up because Charlton is considering an intervention. Says he’s worried about me. I don’t know what for.
News flash! Any day now I’m going to be thirty-six, which means that I’ll officially be off the calendar. Don’t stop. You read right. Keep reading.
Never walk into a pizza shop for the first time and the cashier has their back turned to you. Let someone else take your spot so you have some time to get used to their face. I recently walked into a pizza shop and the cashier’s back was turned to me – She was talking to one of the chefs. When she turned around to take my order I gripped the counter and said; “Oh my God!” The thing is I didn’t mean for her to hear it. Really… I’m not like that at all. I usually have my shit together. I get shocked like that I usually can scream and do all my facial expressions in my mind. But something happened that day – My brain did not have enough time to compute the shock. If it’s any consolation I felt really bad that she heard. But damn! The man who continues to sell her bleaching cream should be jailed and her eyelash lady should be doing some significant community service.
This is the last year that I will hide in my house from the Jehovah’s Witness people. I mean it! This is it! Come 2014 it is not happening! I will send Kuba out to them instead – LOL. Two of them came by our house and this is how it went down…
I see them coming into my yard so I run to my bedroom to hide. Kuba’s in another room watching TV – It’s too late for me to call him now – I can’t shout, they’re going to hear me and know someone’s home. I hear a knock on the door…
JW: *Inside! Inside! (Translation: It’s a Caribbean thing. I think it means “hello, anyone inside” all wrapped up in one. I never really got it but whatever)
Me: I’m praying Kuba does not betray me
JW: (Knocks on the door again)
SIDE NOTE: I’m crouching down looking out the window (I can see the front of the yard). I’m thinking I’m safe – Kuba can’t hear the knocking. He’s busy watching TV. Unbeknownst to me Kuba was already headed for the door. I hear the door open…
JW: Hi, is your mommy home?
Me (thinking): Just say no. Please Kuba. Do this one for mom
Kuba: My name is Kuba. Nice to meet you
SIDE NOTE: Ahhh… He gets it right on cue. Scripting working well. So proud.
JW: Nice to meet you too. Is your mommy inside?
Kuba: There
SIDE NOTE: I’m sure he’s pointing in the direction of my room.
JW: Can you go and call your mommy for us please?
SIDE NOTE: I’m thinking; “Evil thoughts go away. I love my son. I love my son.”
If he was at least twenty I believe I would have punched him in the face when he opened my door.
Kuba: Mom, come here please
Me (whispering): Not now Kuba
Kuba: Come. Here. Please
SIDE NOTE: Obviously what I’m saying does not please him so he’s sounding urgent.
Me (whispering): Go and close the door
SIDE NOTE: I know, it’s awful and I feel so bad about it – But I didn’t want to send him out there to… What is it called these days? LIE! To my horror Kuba starts pulling me and…
Kuba (pulling me out the room): Moooom. Cooome. Heeere. Pleeease
I’m pulling away from him now. Why is my kid doing this to me!
SIDE NOTE: You would think they would just leave and let me wallow in my shame. By now they must know I’m in the house. My son has obviously made that known with is insistence.
Kuba stops pulling me and walks out the room and I whisper to him; “Not now honey.” I swear to you – That is all I said. Kuba goes out and says to the folks, very politely if that’s possible…
Kuba: Go away
I stare at the bedroom floor looking for the hole for me to jump into hell.
What lesson have I taught my son?
DISCLAIMER: Evil thoughts were real but no one was hurt though. Love my kid too much 🙂
P.S. I guess things may look bad if I don’t say Happy New Year so… Happy New Year! From my heart of course 🙂
Who Let The Dogs Out? Sheesh!
Posted on: August 20, 2012
The last time I went to carnival was in ’09. I took Kuba to see the troupes. It was just the two of us so I decided that we would go directly to the Recreation Grounds where we could sit and watch – Didn’t want to take any chances in the large crowds on the street.
So we get up in the stand (Vivian Richards) and are about to take our seat then Kuba begins to cry and tug my hand wanting to leave. I’m now trying to figure out what is wrong because I can’t pick up on any cues and he’s not telling me. I’m now trying to force him to sit down. I had this all figured out in my head. We would come, get some popcorn, sit and watch the troupes on stage and then we would leave. Simple! There was no plan B.
No amount of popcorn would make him settle down. Yes, I did that… And yes, I thought more popcorn would change his emotional state. Don’t judge me.
Anyway, he just kept tugging at me saying, “Let’s go.” Then I started wondering if it was the height (we were on the second tier) that was bothering him… Little did I know.
I give in and we come down off the stand. Kuba held onto my hand and kept tugging me, leading the way to the field. Then he shouts; “Mom… Look!” Then I spot…
The Bounce Castle… House of Dollars and Sense! Where parents spend plenty money and the kids never have enough and want you to spend like you have no sense.
The dots are connecting. I’ve been bamboozled with one of the oldest trick in the book. Shame on me…
So… I go buy a roll of tickets like I own the dam place… SIDE NOTE: I think I know all the bounce castle owners in the country – And they know me because of Kuba. He loves this thing; all the different ones and somewhere in his mind he thinks we own it… Has to be – He does not want to come off. Never go on a bounce castle when attempting to get a kid off. It’s a trap. Memories, like the corners of my mind… LOL
Kuba gets on; by the way, he did a pretty good job of waiting in line. And he’s sliding and bouncing and sliding some more and bouncing plenty. We take a break. Yeah, like a football game… We take breaks. I take him to get some water and more popcorn. He gets a blow-up toy balloon too. I’m using a clutch that day – Remember, I should have been sitting my ass down in a seat somewhere. I let go of his hand for what to me was like a second – Hand the money over for the popcorn and stuff – Turn around and… Kuba was gone.
OMG!
I never thought this would happen to me. SIDE NOTE: There are only a few people that I would leave Kuba with and when I did I would sometimes tell them that if they let anything happen to my child while in their care that they should just kill themselves. I know… It’s a horrible, horrible thing to say. Just horrible! But I said it. Have never said this to my mom though… There would be no blog, no “The Salma Crump” – LOL. But they know I don’t… I don’t…. I don’t… Meeeaaanuh it. I don’t, I don’t, I really don’t. LOL. Maybe more like disappear…
I’m panicking… I’m thinking the worst. The whole “kill yourself” thing never applied to me… Because, hey, shit like this never happens to me. I was too good of a mom for that – Always on-top of things. But maybe it did after all because my heart was beating so fast like my chest was about to explode or something. I kept telling myself to relax – But I have a hard time listening to myself when things are calm much less now.
I looked around our immediate surroundings… No Kuba. I head straight back to the bounce castle… No Kuba. Asked a few people who saw us there… Nope, they haven’t seen him. Ask the guy who’s monitoring the ride… Haven’t seen him either but said he would look out for him.
JUST KILL ME NOW!
I go back to the concession stand. No Kuba. I go from one end of the field to the next – Back to the bounce castle… No sign of him. The sun is starting to set, it’s getting dark.
This is karma… I know it.
I go to the police outpost … SIDE NOTE: A few times throughout the afternoon I had heard the emcee on the stage announcing missing kids (names etc.) and that their parents should pick them up backstage. But it was how he did so. It was nasty! Totally inappropriate and uncalled for! So even before Kuba went missing I was thinking that he’s such an ass.
So, I tell the officer that my son is missing and that he’s autistic and he may or may not answer if someone asks him his name or anything for that matter. Office says he will get right on it – A part of this meant getting the emcee to make an announcement. I asked him to hold on while I check the bounce castle one more time. It just so happened that the bounce castle was right next to the police outpost. So the officer watched me go look around. I see a friend and was asking her if she saw Kuba and at the same time I felt someone hug me.
It was Kuba! I can’t explain the relief I felt. My eyes welled up. I wanted to cry. I stoop down to his level and held him tight. I looked at him and knew he was scared too.
Would you know all this time (probably about 45mins if that long but it felt like eternity) that Kuba was on the bounce castle? The guy who overseeing the ride comes over to me and says that he only noticed him after the second time I came by – He kept him on the ride all this time waiting for me to come back around. SIDE NOTE: I’ve never been against leashes/harnesses for kids and have always thought about getting one for Kuba – But evvverrrybody was against it! Saying he’s not a dog – It wasn’t necessary – People know us – We live on a small island, no-one would hurt him. I let what others thought get the best of me and never got one. Plus I can’t say that I didn’t think about the looks and comments I would get from people.
Fast forward to now… When I don’t give a shit!
And I think we can all agree that things/places/people are not the same anymore. Kuba is no longer a runner, he’s more stealth and I’m not sure which one’s worse. Plus he’s still sometimes VERY impulsive and gets distracted easily.
Anyway, I recently told my mom that I was getting a leash/harness for her to use while on an upcoming trip she’s taking with Kuba… And she was not pleased. She was one of those who didn’t agree with it. She’s trying to talk me out of it. It won’t happen though. So look out for them on some YouTube video somewhere. I would rather have them get the stares and snide comments than for her to call me to say he’s missing. The leash/harness is for his safety. If you don’t like it keep it to your damn self!
So… What do you think; would you use a leash/harness on your child? What do you think of parents who do?
Ok, so I know I just said if you on’t like seeing kids with harnesses to keep it to your damn self – But it was there – Right at the top – Had to come out. So on the street… Keep it to your damn self. Here… Feel free to say whatever with immunity from my mouth.
Queen Victoria Rides Again
Posted on: July 9, 2012
- In: death | kill | Say What! | Thinking OUT LOUD | Uncategorized
- 4 Comments
By the way, before you begin to think otherwise let me just tell you now that… I. Can. Ride!
SIDE NOTE: Come on… Get out the gutter guys… Ride a bike I mean. I. Can. Ride. A. Bike! I just forgot how to momentarily.
So… I got a bike and I decide that Kuba and I (along with a friend who’s an avid rider) are going to participate in a “fun-ride”. The thing is, I didn’t go on it for weeks because I knew that I had learned how to ride a bike when I was young-ER. Yes, when I was younger. Whoever forgets how to ride a bike?
Anyway, before I decided that we were going to do the fun-ride my friend had called wanting me to be the “AC on wheels” chaperone. Like what? I can’t ride to?
Anyways… Somehow my bike ended up at my brother’s house and I went there to pick it up for the fun –ride the next day. They have a huge backyard so I decide to get a little warm-up.
I get on the bike and immediately I’m thinking… “This is not good.”
It LOOKS as if I’ve forgotten how to ride. OMG! This is not good.
I’m in my brother’s backyard with Kuba and my niece.
Niece: Auntie I thought you said you were going to a fun-ride tomorrow?
SIDE NOTE: This is the same niece from the nutmeg fame
Me: Yes
Niece: But you can’t ride
Me: Yes I can! I just haven’t been on a bike in a long time that’s all. Just rusty
Niece (Laughing): Mom! Mom! Come see auntie! She’s falling off the bike!
Me: Can I have some privacy please? I think you should go inside
My sister-in-law comes out and there’s me; can’t seem to stay on the bike for two seconds straight. She can’t stop laughing… It’s the funniest thing (to her).
Sister-in-law: Wait… You can’t ride a bike?
Me: I could swear I learned how to ride a long time ago
SIDE NOTE: Now I’m doubting myself – This is insane!
It’s a comedy show outside… I’ve now caused quite a commotion in the backyard.
My older niece looks out the kitchen window…
Niece: Auntie… Those things in front… On the handle bars… They’re called brakes… You’re supposed to use them when you want to stop… Not hop off the bike
She’s family, she’s family, she’s family. Ignore her.
She’s cracking up.
Niece: I have to call grandma and tell her about this
Me (thinking): You’re officially out of my will when I write one. Note to self: Buy lotto ticket
I must have looked like a total ass.
I’m still on the bike… And Kuba is chanting… “Mom, you can do it! You can do it!
SIDE NOTE: I’m thinking to myself… “I remember riding bikes when I was little! I did! Was that memory implanted when I was kidnapped or something? What is going on here? Why can’t I stay on this damn bike?”
Sister-in-law (watching me with a “you’re-gonna-need-surgery-after-this”) look: This doesn’t look good. I don’t think the fun-ride is a good idea
Me (thinking): I’ve told just about everyone I know that I will be riding in the fun-ride. I will not be driving in any bike ride! Note to self: Keep more things to yourself
So; it’s the day of the fun-ride and I’m driving behind a cluster of bikers…
WHATEVER!
P.S. So… Just in case you’re wondering if I’ve been back on the bike….
I did. The following weekend I just told myself… “I’m gonna ride this damn bike even if it kills me!” I’ll just have to do it real early in the morning though – So the chances of anyone seeing me fall would me minimal.
So I got up at 5AM the Saturday morning and just hopped on the bike. It was a little bit touch-and-go at first but I stayed on and rode for about an hour.
But damn! Someone should have told me…! The pants…! I needed to get the padded ones! OMG! I was saying a silent prayer all the way back home.
“Our Father who art in heaven. Please save the queen. Please save the queen.”
When I got off that bike it took all the grace I had not to walk like “Cowboy X” into the house. “Queen Victoria” was sooooo relieved – Kinda mad looking but relieved no doubt.
Ok… So this is my final article in the Autism Awareness series and come next year I don’t want to be the one doing this. Well, yes I want to but I also would like to see more parents, advocates, teachers etc. coming onboard and sharing their insights and stories. You know that whole “together we’re stronger” line? I think the person who first said it was on to something.
I’m like a mixed bag when it comes to Autism Awareness Month. I think, like many other families, we want it to be every month. There’s still this pressing need to raise the collective consciousness past April and beyond. I believe we have made some progress though. Just think about it… The Daly Observer said yes to running this series of articles on probably what is the highest distribution day (Mondays). I was soooo happy because I knew what it meant to me and was hoping it would mean to so many other parents.
We all have a passion for something. Most of the readers of this series, their issue is autism or special needs in general and all the other needs (education, health) which form an intrinsic part of it. Those needs are urgent for us – We live with them every day. Our task now is how we, through advancement, can realistically meet those needs.
As many of you know, I’m a founding member of the special needs (I’m beginning to have issues with that term (special needs) but another day and time) education lobby group ABILITY and… We. Need. Your. Help. It’s in everyone’s best interest that our education system improves. So how do we do that I’m sure you’re asking? Who’s with me if you think what’s needed is a heavy dose in proportions we have yet to fully confront of reality, accountability both personal and governmental.
Many of us have been fighting for a long time – Fighting for opportunity, for change, for a better future for our kids; each sometimes meaning different things to all of us. If I were to be honest with you, sometimes I want to give up. I want to say; “I don’t care! It is what it is.” But then I always think back to the first parent I ever met who had a child (actually 2) on the autism spectrum. I waited an hour to meet her. She could have “blown me off” but instead she made time for me – To talk about my kid and my issues and most of all she listened to me. Every time I think about it, it brings me to tears. I don’t expect everyone to fully understand this; after all you may not have experienced it before. However it is one of the main reasons why I can’t, or better yet won’t give up.
Top of ABIITY’s wish list is carefully thought out, well-crafted solutions that have vision and scope – One that would come about through respectful discussion with a healthy dose of compromise. We don’t pretend to have all the answers but… We. Want. To. Help. We can’t sit by and…
Watch our kids continue to age-out of a school system that did nothing to help them cope in the adult-world they’re being thrust into.
We cannot to accept this continued indirect and in some cases blatant discrimination of our special needs students.
We cannot accept this continued archaic way of thinking (by some individuals) that, special need student equals a curriculum consisting of arts and crafts and recess.
We recognize that special education is not the only need served by the public school system; limited funding has to cover all children. On the other hand though, we cannot continue to accept that it’s ok for our education system to limit access to some students to accommodate whatever level of effort and resourcing it feels it is convenient to offer.
What happened to the core principle of universality of access; education for ALL? It breaks my heart when I talk to other moms with kids who are eighteen, twenty years old and the system they went through has (for the most part) remained the same today. How can anyone expect us to accept that! We will not be having this conversation ten years from now. Will we? We just cannot let that happen!
So what are you going to do about it?
My advice…
I encourage you to be…
More assertive, not angry
More committed, not blindly and
More open-minded, without compromising your values
At the end of the day; don’t idolize the box so much so that you’re unable to think outside of it.
======
My name is Salma Crump and I want to thank everyone for their support, words of encouragement, for all the emails they’ve sent – A few parents sent me some very personal emails and said that I sharing my experiences have helped them. That made everything so worth it. To all the folks who sent me emails saying; I touched a nerve or caused them to think of things they’ve never even considered. Thank you. It’s important that you’re onboard for change to happen. Most of all… Thank you to The Daily Observer for making available your platform so my voice could be heard a littler louder. Truly living up to what you believe – “Let there be light”.
This is the final article of a five-part feature I’ve been writing each week which focused on my experiences raising a child with autism. If you have a story to share, any words of advice to add or questions to ask please do so by leaving a comment or sending an email to: salma.crump@gmail.com
Must Love (AT LEAST) Two Men
Posted on: March 16, 2012
So, I’m not a big Valentines fan – And by the way it’s not because I don’t get anything. Well; yes it is (LOL) but I was never really that into it, even when I was getting the whole shebang.
This past Valentine’s Day Charlton didn’t even remember. Or so he claims. His car was in the shop so I took him to work… SIDE NOTE: Sharing a car with your man… Well! That’s all I will say.
So we’re in the car and he’s ignoring me. We’re coming up to a hitchhiker… If I’m alone I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers, unless I absolutely know them, their parents and their creditors. With him it’s…
Charlton: I’m going to give that guy a ride
Me (in the few seconds before we get to the hitchhiker): Who is he? Do you know him?
Charlton: Yes FBI. And even if I tell you, you still won’t know who he is. It’s ok…
We pick up the guy and drop him off…
We’re alone now… SUKI! SUKI! 😉
He’s driving and I’m rubbing his leg and sometimes his head. We’re listening to NICE FM and I’m singing some sunshine song… Directly to the man ladies and gentlemen – And smiling – And you know… When I talk about smiling its SMILING! No reaction! He’s ignoring me… PROPER!
We get to the parking lot…
He’s getting out the car…
Me: Happy Valentine’s Day hon
Charlton: Wait; today is Valentine’s Day?
Me (thinking): This must be payback from me putting the piggy-bank funDS in a restricted account the night before. I have to tell you; I was a little bit wounded. Anyway, I don’t care about Valentine’s Day. It’s only one day. And obviously Charlton has taken me seriously with my “I don’t care about Valentine’s Day story”, which I really don’t by the way…
He gives me the usual kiss. No tongue-action… NOTHING!
Whatever… I know what I said… Don’t remind me
Charlton leaves and I start climbing into the driver’s seat. I do this all the time – I don’t want to get out the car and walk around. The same time a guy is just pulling into the parking lot and I flashed him my morning, afternoon and probably evening too. SIDE NOTE: Me thinking… Well… at least I’ve just made somebody’s Valentines.
Anyway; fast forward to later that day.
I get home from the office. Kuba goes directly to the kitchen. He’s been talking about toast for the entire ride home.
SIDE NOTE: That’s a characteristic that you sometimes find with people on the autism spectrum – They get fixated on particular topic and will talk about it incessantly. What you need to do is not to cut the conversation short or stop talking to them – After all you don’t want to stop conversation, you want to encourage it but on different topics. So you will need to teach them how to. What I do with Kuba is… I just change the subject to another topic that I know he likes. Saying… “Don’t talk about the Lion King Broadway musical anymore”, does not work. Trust me… I know. Been there, done that, sometimes still do it. The trouble is what to do when he’s outside his circle. He’s now more and more beginning to initiate conversations with others and we need to work on his icebreaker. Going up to someone and saying… “Hey, would you like some toast, with butter and cheese?” is not cutting it. By the way, a grilled cheese sandwich is one of his favorites. I’m now thinking about making him some cue cards (read about it somewhere online) with a picture of something that he knows about and likes with perhaps a few associated words on the back. So he would keep about 2 or 3 of them in his pocket for him to use as a reminder. Now when I’m done with that I will then have to work on him actually taking them out of his pocket – LOL. I guess I will have to tell whoever he will be interacting with to prompt him to take one from his pocket. Motherhood is just GRRREAAATTT!
Anyway; so back to where I was…
Kuba heads to the kitchen and I head to my bedroom.
The lights are off… I see something sparkling in the middle of the bed.
My first thought…
I thought we said no gifts for VDay?! OMG! I didn’t get him anything!
2nd thought…
I banished that thought completely from my mind. SIDE NOTE: A few years ago Charlton bought me negligee for VDay and I don’t know what the hell he was thinking when he bought me that – And he was with a friend too. Can you imagine? I told myself at the time that it must have been the friend who encouraged him to buy it. And I know… That is a whole other story for another time. By the way I’m not against him getting me a negligee – But buy *sudden (translation: *something) that can lift and squeeze (gently) and camouflage. I don’t care… Don’t judge me. At least I kept it so that should count for something. Shouldn’t it? SIDE NOTE in Side Note: *Dis might cause wan lef (Translation: *This may cause a breakup) because Charlton can be very sensitive when it comes to these things – He wants you to LOVE LOVE LOVE everything he buys. Anyway, unless you’re going to take my place when he’s giving the “It’s not you it’s me” talk then let me say no more. LMAO
3rd and every other thought after that…
I’m doing a mental check of all of Kuba’s art supplies. Bet your ass I’m going to outdo him if it’s a card on that bed. *People go tark bout dis card yah! (Translation: *People will be talking about this card!). SIDE NOTE: I know you’re thinking I’m shallow right now but… BIG YAWN… 🙂
By the way I think I should tell you (ONLY because it’s the right thing to do) that at this point I still don’t quite know yet what’s on the bed – The room is still dark.
SIDE NOTE: I guess my mom is onto something when she calls us the “Drama Family”. I’m Drama Queen. Kuba is, not Drama Prince but Prince of Drama. She’s stopped short (at least out loud) of giving Charlton a royal title but…
Anyway I turn on the lights and see one of the most outlandish, tacky, big red bow *dat somebady haffu tief fram wan ALP campaign affice* BUT best Valentine’s Day card ever made! (Translation: *that someone stole from an ALP campaign office*)
And who was the card from…?
My one and only *bruk-packet* (Translation: *broke-pocket* – My pocket BTW), love to eat out, think that every supermarket we drive by that we must go in, up until recently only wanted ice-cream from Australian Homemade and would go out with others (my mom included) who would then ask us if me and my man have conversation about the status of their pocket with our CHILD otherwise known as Kuba – Who I love more than anything else and understand the love for Australian Homemade but respect the Sunshine all the same 🙂
I took up the card went out to the kitchen where Kuba was…
Me: Kuba, you made this card for mom?
Kuba: Yes… Happy Valentine’s Day mom! I love you!
My heart melts…
What did I think about Valentine’s Day again?
Oh, I remember… It helps to have more than one man in your life 🙂
Your Dirty Little Secret
Posted on: December 23, 2011
- In: feeling | Filthy Mind | Nuts & Bolts | Say What! | Thinking OUT LOUD | Uncategorized
- 2 Comments
It has been a while I know… I did I promise at some point that I was going to post every week. But if I did everything I said I was going to do then what would I do when it came time to make New Year’s resolutions? Have you ever thought of that? So now, one of my goals for next year is to post at least once per week.
So… What has happened since the last time?
I realized that Momtuition has a lot more readers than I thought :). Met one recently while at the bank. SIDE NOTE: I wonder what perks come with having a bank employee as a fan of your blog? All I need is to be able to jump the line especially when they are long and out of 6 Tellers 4 have signs up saying “CLOSED”.
So it’s my turn… I go to the teller… Looks like she’s new. Don’t remember seeing her before. Yes; I can be nosy observant too.
Anyway, I go up to the window and slide my slip under the glass. She looks up and says…
Teller: So you’re Salma Crump
Slight pause (only a few long seconds)… Nothing. Now this should be against the law. When you say something like that – “So you’re…” It should be law that you have to follow it up with something… Anything.
Me (smiling): Yes. SIDE NOTE: I should have corrected her right? Let her know I’m “The Salma Crump”. Get it right! LOL 🙂
Me: Where do you know me from?
SIDE NOTE: I’m almost 100percent sure of what she’s going to say then she says…
Teller: I read your blog
The smile on my face is big enough for ten thousand tourists! 🙂 (You see)
Me: Really? Oh nice! Thanks. Where did you hear about it?
Teller: I think it was on Facebook. Someone posted the link.
SIDE NOTE: Turns out it’s a fellow blogger over at Motives & Thoughts
Me: What’s your name?
Teller: Yada, Yada, Yada…
SIDE NOTE: Mine yah bizniz! (Translation: Mind your own business). Ok… My apologies; I shouldn’t have told you to mind your own business. After all it’s my business (I think… Is it the Teller’s business too?) and I’m choosing to tell you. And don’t you just hate that – When someone tells you… “I want to tell you something but I can’t use names.” Well keep it to your damn self then. Probably shouldn’t be telling me in the first place. Anyway, I’m still not going to tell you but aren’t you happy we got that out in the open? LOL
Back to the convo…
Me: I’ve never seen a comment with that name?
Teller (smiling): I’ve never commented. I just go and read the posts.
Me: Ok. You should comment though
Teller (smiling… Ten thousand more tourists): No… I don’t like to be out there. I don’t even use my real name online.
Me: Wow! Ok… You can comment under any name
Teller: I like how you write
Me: Thank you
At this point we can be backup power supply for APUA when they shed-a-load-of-shit on us. I got that wrong didn’t I? But you get the picture. There were smiles all around 🙂
Teller: I think you’re funny
Me: Is that good or bad?
Teller (laughing): That’s good
Me: Ok
Teller: I like to think of it as my escape (I think she said from the real world)
Me thinking… These are compliments, right
Me: Wait… You’re complimenting me right?
SIDE NOTE: I guess I actually said what I was thinking. For whatever reason my internal muzzle doesn’t always work.
Then she says…
Teller (smiling/laughing): It’s my dirty little secret
Me (thinking): FINALLY! She compliments my work! OMG, someone give this girl a bottle of my latest fragrance, a copy of my third autobiography, something with my face or name on it! Oh wait a minute… I don’t have any of those things do I…
Instead I said…
Me: Wow! That’s a compliment, right?
Teller: Of course!
Me: Your compliments are something else.
Meanwhile I’m skipping in my mind. I can do back-flips too but I’m saving that for when I win the lottery 🙂
So… To my number one fan (don’t be jealous guys – you have to admit that’s a deserving spot) thanks for your kind compliments. I look forward to seeing your comments… Your real self or the fake one 😉
Momtuition… Your dirty little secret.
momtuition 